He Went From a Nerd to a Chad

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John Sonmez wasn’t just overlooked—he was the guy nobody wanted to be

Growing up, he was diagnosed with ADHD, taking Ritalin to focus, living that regular society script—school, friends, parties, a decent corporate job to save cash. 

He wasn’t the cool guy.

He wasn’t the guy who got attention.

He wasn’t the guy who had things figured out.

He was, by all definitions, a nerd—awkward, insecure, uncomfortable, and trapped in his skin, while pointing fingers at the world—school, jobs, whatever—until he snapped out of it.

“I started to wake up and realize a lot of my circumstances I was blaming on other things,” said John.

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The Transformation

Growing up, John had a deep passion for programming and computers.

He spent hours coding, learning new skills, and diving into the technical world. But while he was excelling in his intellectual pursuits, his personal life was a different story.

Social situations made him anxious.

Talking to women felt impossible. And the worst part?

He believed that was just how things were. That some guys were simply 'naturally' good with people, and he wasn’t one of them.

Watch The Full Podcast with Alvaro Reyes and John Sonmez

One day, he reached his breaking point so first, he took control of his physique.

Dropping from 300 pounds to 189 in a year with a hardcore OMAD routine—one meal a day, pure discipline.  He wasn’t just shedding fat—he was chasing marathons. Building mental toughness.

John believes in order to really change…

We have to go and seek the pain and he lived it.

Reading over 100 books, he fed his mind the same way, stacking wisdom while pounding pavement. He invested in real estate and got royalties from programs he created. His escape from corporate life, pushing his limits. 

The transformation didn’t happen overnight.

At first, he started small. He forced himself into uncomfortable situations.

He talked to people, even when he felt nervous. He hit the gym, even when he had no idea what he was doing.

One of the biggest realizations that fueled his transformation was the understanding that confidence isn’t something you’re born with.

It’s something you build. And that meant he had the power to change.

John transformed from someone who struggled to maintain eye contact to someone who could command a room over time.

He went from struggling to talk to women to becoming the kind of man who attracted them naturally.

But the most significant change wasn’t external. It was internal.

The 3 Lessons That Turned Everything Around

1. Destroy the Victim Mindset: John realized that he was blaming his circumstances instead of owning them. He stopped waiting for permission to change and started acting like the person he wanted to become. When he shifted from asking,

   'Why is this happening to me?' to 'How can I take control?' everything changed.

2. Master Discipline, Not Motivation:  Motivation fades. Discipline sticks. He built the habits that made success inevitable—waking up early, hitting the gym, refining his social skills. Small actions stacked up to massive results. He realized that transformation wasn’t about feeling ready; it was about showing up, day after day, until the results came.

3. Rewire Your Identity:  The biggest shift wasn’t external. It was internal. John stopped seeing himself as the guy who wanted to be better and started acting like he already was that guy. His identity shifted before his reality did. Instead of thinking, 'I hope I can become confident,' he started telling himself, 'I am confident.' And his actions followed.

What This Means for You

Most men think they need to get rich first.

Or get jacked first.

Or get the perfect opportunity first.

But transformation starts inside, not outside.

If you’re tired of where you are, the fastest way forward is radical self-honesty. Stop blaming external forces. Stop waiting for motivation.

Decide who you will be—and then start acting like that person TODAY.

John’s journey proves that you don’t have to be stuck in the same patterns forever. You don’t have to accept a version of yourself that you hate. Change is possible, but only if you take full responsibility for making it happen.

Like John, I help men escape the mental traps holding them back.

Take the Bulldog Mindset Quiz here 

How can I help?

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