The Power of Indonesia’s Merantau Ritual

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In Indonesian culture, the concept of "Merantau" means walking away from home to explore new horizons

The "Minangkabau" rite of passage in western Sumatra has a rich history that dates back to the 7th century, making it an integral part of the region's culture.

From a male perspective, "Merantau" in Indonesia typically represents:

• The opportunity to achieve economic success and social status is often seen as essential for maturing into responsible adulthood.

• Merantau is seen as a test of resilience and adaptability, navigating the challenges of urban life, especially in cities like Jakarta.

• The eventual goal of returning home enriched with experiences and possibly with resources to invest in their community.

It was very surprising to me that the word "Merantau" wasn’t just some idea I found on the internet. When I went out this week to talk to young men and take pictures of them for this newsletter, I asked each one of them if they knew what I was talking about, and they all did, which I found rather extraordinary.

However, this phenomenon isn´t exclusive to Indonesia.

Initiation rituals for boys to become men have been practiced all around the world for millennia. To name a few more: The Sateré-Mawé Tribe in Brazil goes through a bullet ant initiation to show that they are an adult and a warrior.

In other cultures, the Aboriginal Walkabout, Vanuatu Land Diving, Sami Bear Feast, and Hamar Bull-Jumping are rites of passage that involve unique challenges like living in the wilderness, diving from great heights, eating bear meat, and jumping over bulls.

These traditions and practices of courage and tenacity are deeply rooted in these cultures.

In contrast to the Western narrative of "toxic masculinity," here men are celebrated for enduring these rituals that showcase their courage, strength, and resilience.

It's clear that something has gone terribly wrong on our end.

One of the books that has influenced me a lot in my entrepreneurial journey is “Start With Why” by Simon Sinek. A must-read for every aspiring business owner.

So here is mine:

Launching the Uncharted Road last year, I started to write letters to my younger self in an attempt to cope with the traumatic experiences I went through when my 21-year-long life in Mexico fell apart during the pandemic. One of the lessons I had to learn the hard way is that, as a man, failing to perform or provide renders you virtually invisible to society.

It is about my age when a lot of men end their lives, which shocks and saddens me because I can relate.

There are many reasons why the current crisis of masculinity is real, and one of them is that there are no safety nets or backup plans for young men, as well as the continuing feminization of a whole generation with testosterone levels dropping more than ever before.

The issue is that society still expects men to perform as they did 50 years ago, with all of the pressure that entails. Everything around us is built and maintained by men and it is all just taken for granted.

The reality is that men bear the burden of performance—it is either excellence or a dark road to oblivion. Every man must face this truth at some point. Nobody is coming to save you.

Women, however, have a choice.

They have the option of choosing a career, but they are not required to, which is why most women are inherently incapable of empathizing with this situation. I support women's independence and freedom to choose what they want, and I don't expect them to understand men's issues because they have their own.

Kudos and more power to them but that doesn´t mean we need to be silent about the challenges young men face today.

Here are some of the most pressing topics no one wants to talk about:

1) Suicide Crisis Among Men: About 80% of suicide victims are male, reflecting a deep-seated crisis in mental health and societal support for men.

2023 hit an all-time high of over 39,255 men taking their lives only in the US

2) Homelessness is Mostly a Man's World: Men constitute approximately 70% of the homeless population in many urban areas. Who cares?

3) Men considered disposable: In Ukraine, tens of thousands of young men are sent to fight to die, and many are criminally persecuted for wanting to leave the country while their women sit in Europe, Thailand or Bali.

I have met three Ukrainian women having cocktails this week alone, and I don’t blame them for leaving but it is needless to say that when the shit hits the fan, there are exactly zero feminists left.

4) Dating Market: Recent studies show that up to 60% of young Gen Z men don’t get laid. And at the same time, the mainstream media wonders why so many men lash out and become angry, bitter and even sociopaths.

Platforms like Tinder and Bumble are an unmitigated disaster for most men, Here are some eye-opening stats on that

5) Fatherless homes: a closely related issue that is a consequence of incentivizing women for bad behaviour and promiscuity (aka OnlyFans) while simultaneously making marriage just an incredibly bad deal for men

Is anyone seriously surprised that so many men opt out of dating completely?

Countries like Indonesia do not have this problem because traditional gender roles and strong family values prevent it from happening. 80% of children have a father in their homes here, compared to only 20% in the USA.

None of the above-mentioned men’s issues are meant to diminish the problems that women face, like domestic violence and sexual abuse.

Two things can be true at the same time.

I firmly believe that by improving young men’s lives, we benefit women as well. It is the bitter and angry men that lash out, not the happy and fulfilled.

Why would they ?

Thank you for reading 🙏

See you next week!

Roman

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